It is very easy to fall into the sinking sand.
Often times, we walk high with our noses in the air, reacting immediately and selfishly to something, anything. It is the American way to be self-preserving. However, these last few days, I am learning that the American way is changing.
I am a rashly acting person. It’s not something I’m proud of. It has led me to lose friends, lose job opportunities, hurt my friends and family, and hurt myself. It is a bad habit – a way of blazing forward like a bull and not thinking about the ground upon which I trod. Like I said, I’m not proud of it.
A lot of my free time and energies over the last year have been involved in making myself into a better person. A lot of this has been involved in finding healthy ways to outlet my sadness and anger.
- I have learned about the chakras and meditation and tried to take those up.
- I have taken up yoga.
- I am working to breathe more deeply and be more mindful.
- I have committed to writing 750 words of fiction daily.
- I have given myself permission to blog and journal about anything I want whenever I want.
- I have started a gratitude journal.
- I purchased an oil diffuser (aromas deeply affect my mood – especially the good ones!)
When I follow these practices, allow myself the wiggle room to let things go, I feel so much better. I guess I just up and decided I was tired of having headaches and being upset. I still stumble, and I am still a far cry from happy, but I am much better.
I could be busy, unhappy and stressed or I could choose to accept myself and my life and make the most of it.
Most days, I like my decision.