I am a grumpy person, and I’m okay with that. I’m liable to whine incoherently at my husband like a disgruntled cocker spaniel. I’ll curl up in a corner and blast punk music filled with judgy, angsty lyrics *cough* Green Day *cough* for hours. I’ll flop on my bed and decide that’s the end of all things. I do try my best to keep all my moping between the four walls of my apartment, although I’ve been known to outburst at a friend from time to time (I like to think I immediately apologize afterward). That works for me, the dramatic moodiness… but it doesn’t work for me when it comes to other people.
I like to see my friends happy. I will turn myself inside out to try and make that happen, in every way from making really horrible jokes to offering to rush over with ice cream and hugs. The latter worked a little better in high school. I have a friend right now who is trying to manage a mother suffering from Alzheimer’s and a father who’s in denial about it, another planning her wedding. Neither of these things are particularly easy or pleasant. One is heartbreaking, the other is stressful to the point of tears. I do my best to help… but sometimes, there’s nothing you can do. Some situations are irreversibly dark, and some people are inconsolable. In these times, we have to do the very best we can to keep our chin up.
The truest friend is one who sticks by your side no matter how difficult life gets. They have your hand when you want to run away – they have tissues when you need to cry. They know just what to say, and they know when to say nothing. Trying to be that friend is also enlightening – it shows you the people you truly love, verses the people you are just “keeping around”. And after that hardship, you can always count your true friends. It’s not always requited… but it usually is.
I have, honestly, dropped friends who brought me down. Sometimes, I have clung to those that needed me to go away. In the end, ties were severed on both sides. Because sometimes, it is healthier for all parties not to try and salvage something that died long ago. Even a genie can’t bring something back from the dead.
In the meanwhile, we fight for the people worth keeping. And we try to be the very best sort of person.
And for goodness sake, folks, it’s Christmastime. Chin up! Be merry!