Checking In

Sometimes, my blog feels like a bed.  A big, cushy, soft bed with a lovely quilt and it smells like lavender and more than anything in the world I just want to stop everything and flop down on top of it.  Exhale.  Let my aching muscles settle for a moment.  Just… not… do… things.

Today is one of those days.

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Technically speaking, today is nothing special.  It’s a sunny Wednesday in February.  I’m at work.  I even treated myself to a big breakfast by making and omelette before work, which is something I never do.  And it was really good.  So why am I made of do not want right now?

Because life.  Because depression.  Because my eyes are stinging and my heart is racing and I have to remind myself to breathe.

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Because I’m tired of trying to eat better and hydrate more and run to the ladies’ room every couple hours and I’m just tired.  And I have emotions.  And I’m convinced that sleep will help everything.  It won’t, because sleep is my unreachable star.

If I made a laundry list of items plaguing me right now, there would be a great deal of emotional and (minor) physical distress.  Things like “I think my stomach is filled with cannon balls” and “my heart is slowly dissolving”.  And that damn it I need to pee again.  What is up with that?

Clearly I have no filter today.

Can I go home now?

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(Seriously, though, I am not personning so good today.  Are y’all doing a bit better?)

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I strive to be intelligent, creative, brave, strong, patient, kind, and happy. What more is there in this world?

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